To understand the real relationship values, it is necessary to go beyond communication, trust and loyalty. Of course, these are important attributes of an honest relationship but still, there is so much more behind. To come to trust and loyalty towards other persons, you first need to trust in yourself.
“You can’t pour from an empty cup.” – This quote is so true and so deep but still, often we forget about it in our daily life.
In the daily insanity of stress, running here and there, thinking of clients, friends, family … we tend to forget to think about the most important person in our life: ourselves! And this is neither selfish, nor ignorant – it is simply necessary.
True relationship management starts with valuable self-care
How should we truly love another person if we don’t even know how to love and cherish ourselves? How to pull happiness and fulfilment into our own life? If we are already unhappy by ourselves – how can we expect to be happy with another person?
It’s rather the opposite: alone unhappy, together doubly unhappy. And it is not the fault of the other person!
In order to build up a long lasting and thriving relationship with deep values in which you are playing a meaningful role, you firstly have to take care of yourself and assign the proper value to your own being!
Only if you take yourself serious and care about a healthy body, mind and soul, then you are ready to attract a relationship which carries the same attributes and is helping both partners to thrive together.
That doesn’t mean that you already need to be half enlightened in order to attract the right partner. It can already be enough that you set your intentions in those directions and start to walk your path. Then simply other things are going to unfold.
But in the first place you should do some adjustments in your life style or at least make a plan how to break the most important nasty habits. They are mostly hidden in the amount of daily movement, your eating behaviour or your life style.
Consider changing them in a way that they make you feel really valuable and lovable!
This step will help you to take responsibility in your life again! To experience life as this juicy and interesting place for exploration that it’s supposed to be. To create healthy and conscious habits which really make you feel grateful to be alive and give you a fresh taste of what it really means to be alive – and not only to exist!
Depth over distance is worth it in a relationship: Be a healing trigger for others
As a part of a relationship with deep core values which is deeply nourishing and thriving your most important task is to be a healing trigger for your partner. And except that he/ she is one for you. Of course there will be tension and contrast, arguments and friction but this is THE spark which you need to keep up in a relationship. A relationship in which both partners are growing together and mirroring each other. Everyone needs to work on themselves without making the other one responsible for their unhappiness.
Don’t expect that this is going to be easy and always only butterflies, love, peace and harmony. No way! It is hard work to keep up this magic within oneself and between each other all the time. But it is worth it because those differences between the partners are perfect to trigger each other and bring more light into the hidden shadows of your personalities. Anyway, the love between you two which you are perceiving will make you finding common ground again.
And remember that everything is a process: It is living from making conscious decisions and then falling back in unaware patterns. And again working on yourself, working on each other, working on this “togetherness” and falling back again. This fall back into old patterns is the reason for our growing. Without challenges is no thriving. Think about it. Either your relationship is worth it to invest your time and energy in or you’d better leave it in the first run. Otherwise it will just end in exactly this what you don’t want: passion and drama in short-term and unhappiness as long-term consequence.
Stand back from unnecessary belief systems – out of sheer convenience
The theory of soul mates should not be used as an excuse to wait for THE one, the ONLY ONE. This is a deeply subconscious process which is keeping you from sharing emotional depths with other people and really working on yourself. Just because you have in mind that out there, among those 8 billion people, is one person waiting who is just perfect for you.
So out of sheer convenience you’d better wait for the one, who might be perfect (for the first three months of your relationship …). Instead of accepting that actually each person, who is showing you where you can still experience healing and transformation, could be your soul mate.
So, please, open your horizon and consider pulling responsibility back in your life. Become clear about your real relationship values and be grateful for being able to experience this magic called life. Keep your distance from playing victim all the time and blaming others for your misfortune.
Don’t wait for anyone else who can fill those emotional holes which developed over years out of unmet expectations and disappointments.
You are strong enough to make the first step and decide to work on yourself in order to bring your magic within to the outside. And then also the magic in your relationship will be going to unfold.