Everyone sees it in Hollywood-movies, everyone wants it, but still, nobody is believing in it: The romantic love-on-first-sight-relationship, the best sex ever and a harmonious relationship until the end of the life.
Of course on the one hand, these movies are just unreal and ignore the point that relationships are there to grow together, help each other in becoming the best version of oneself – go together through thick and thin, support each other even in difficult times. This is not just coming over night. It is hard work.
On the other hand we really want to have this harmonious relationship, at least we want to believe that it is possible but we are not willing to put effort in it, to look at our own shadows, to bring out our light, to shine bright. Because this takes time, patience and energy. It doesn’t feel like bathing in a field of flowers. It’s a process, a transformation.
And transformation needs time. We don’t bring the patience any more that things can thrive. It’s easier to give up and either dive deep into self-pity or escape in a new relationship, where hopefully everything will be better and easier and lighter. But no. This will not happen unless we finally start to face the shit we are carrying with us all the time.
Not working on it but still hoping that something will change. This is actually the definition of madness.
Impatience: The real pandemic in our society
Madness. Yes, that’s a proper description of our society. Everything must be fast.
We want it here and now.
In the restaurant we want good and fresh and healthy food. But it takes more than 10 minutes?! We are pissed off.
Something cannot be delivered the way we expected it, we are pissed off.
Somebody is not immediately replying to our messages, we are pissed off.
We are impatient.
We are trapped in hurry, speed, limitation of time, impatience. We are trapped in “Maya” (Sanskrit). The illusion.
This is the biggest pandemic in our society. It is infecting health care, diet, education, spirituality, relationship. Everything.
We are expecting our child to change from today to tomorrow.
We want to do sports for 10 minutes and have abs like a professional sportsman.
We want to quit sugar from our diet but after three days we decide that it is not showing any effect, so we can just return to our old nutrition.
This is idiocy. And it needs to be treated. But only you can treat it for yourself. Nobody else can take this responsibility.
We need to understand that transformation needs time. And we need to respect the speed not only of our own transformation but also of others around us.
And this transformation requires commitment and investment. First in yourself but of course also in your partner if you are intending to build up a stable and romantic, long-lasting relationship. There is no space for impatience.
If you are not willing to invest time and energy in this process, then you are the last who is allowed to complain about the misfortune in your life and relationships.
Happiness is not a destination – it’s a way of life
If you are unhappy then most-likely you are going to attract somebody who is in the same state of mind, the same state of consciousness.
In order to change something, you need to take the first step. You have to know what you want (or at least what you don’t want) and show that you are really serious about it and honest with yourself.
This is a first big step, but the most important one. Because you need to discover old, hidden patterns and free yourself from them. Then you are able to see your path and walk towards inner thriving which is a good base for developing a conscious and fulfilling relationship to others.
In the next part we will explain how to overcome impatience and thrive together in relationships.